the jenni chronicles

In keeping with a spring theme, I planted our vegetable garden today! We started growing about a month ago  indoors. The only problem was; we had a bazillion plants in our dining room. It was like a greenhouse in there. I was glad to finally get them outside.  Hopefully the little seedlings will survive in the great outdoors.  We planted the staples; tomatoes, carrots, beans, cucumber and lettuce.  But also planted some interesting things: asparagus, bell peppers, chili’s and jalapenos! The only thing that didn’t come up yet was the squash, so I guess I will start them off in another pot somewhere. I plan to plant the grape vine tomorrow because I didn’t know you had to soak the roots for 3 hours before planting. Wont it be great to have grapes? OH! I also planted an herb garden on our back porch…something I have never been able to keep alive for whatever reason.

Ahhhh.  It feels so good to create something from scratch.  All this from just a tiny little seed. Just add a little dirt and water, its amazing. As always I photo-documented the process, and also took some snapshots of the little surprises popping up in our yard (we might even have strawberries- eeeeee!).  You can see the pics here, Enjoy!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

As I sat for the last few months, nesting into our new house, our new life…I sort-of forgot about some things.  I guess I subconsciously pushed some things aside that I used to  love doing…and maybe I thought I didn’t have time for them anymore? sigh…I don’t know… I honestly didn’t even think about it until just recently;  I watched the movie Julie and Julia. Have you seen it? (Its fabulous if you haven’t)  It made me really miss writing.

I originally started this blog in the fall of 2004, which was probably the worst, most horrible point in my life, and it really helped me to have an outlet for my feelings and thoughts.  Since then it has sort of evolved into a chronicle of…well…Me.  I feel like I have forgotten to take care of the bog, and in return I have not taken time for me. How did this happen? I forgot Me!

I lay in bed this morning with Cody, (who is a great listener by the way)I tried to think of a title for this entry. The first entry in almost a year. How do you say “I’m back” without sounding like you ever left? I mean I have been here the whole time, I was just sort of in hibernation. Spring! Cody and I ran to my keyboard and I immediately went to thesaurus.com and typed in the word Spring. I noticed among the words on the page, there was a link to a visual translation of my word- a pretty looking little thing. Visualthesaurus.com is the coolest thing ever, especially if you write a lot. Thus, the picture that started this entry.

~Spring: the place where something begins, where it springs into being.~

So, Here’s to a Spring Awakening. I’m back.

xoxo
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Sigh, Chris finally talked me into going rafting with him.  His dad and some of his dads friends came for a visit and Chris wanted to show them a good time.  It was fathers day weekend, what could go wrong, right?  I figured if they can do it so can I. (here are the pictures)

We drove up in separate cars, us in the bronco (AKA Big Whitey) and them in another car. On the way something strange happened when pulling onto the off ramp.  Big Whitey didnt feel right. After pulling off to see what was wrong Chris devised that even though we probably lost first gear, that we keep driving. Mkay, here is where I start to worry…not that I wasn’t worrying already about the whole rafting thing. We were supposed to meet in Kremmling, a little town on the way to Steamboat.  However what we didn’t know is that the whole entire town was out for Kremmling days! The road(s) were shut down, all two of them, and we were detoured around the whole town.  Poor big Whitey limped his way through town until we finally stopped at a gas station. Put him into park and called Chris’s dad to come meet us….this was a huge mistake.

Big whitey wouldn’t come out of park.

We opened the hood and almost immediately a kid came out of the market asking if we needed help.  He was, of course, in his 4H tee shirt and cowboy hat. He and Chris poked around under the hood and then when we mentioned a mechanic he stood right up and said “well I’m traveling with his son, I will get you his card”. huh? How fortuitous! We called the mechanic, who promptly drove two blocks over in his tow truck to help out.  Somehow he got BW into reverse and we drove to his shop where he  basically told us we were screwed. BW needed a new transmission and he doesn’t do transmissions.

Now it was at this point in our journey when I felt a little relief flow over me. We didn’t have a truck to take us to the river, which equals= I don’t have to go rafting! :) yay. But alas, Chris had tricks up his sleeve. Mechanic man had a “rig” he said we could rent from him for the day. Chris took the bait, and right before our eyes a beast was rolled out from around the building. This thing was right out of a redneck horror movie.  You know the one where the kids go off on a hunting trip and never come back? Yeah, we were driving that truck. It was painted cammo colors, didn’t have a window on one side, the entire inside ceiling was ripped out AND the door came flying open whenever we rounded a corner. So classy! But I must admit, it got us there…in redneck style.

We unloaded the raft, started blowing it up when an EMT came walking up to us. RED FLAG #2. Apparently a man went missing that afternoon after he fell out of his raft going over some rapids. What was RED FLAG #1 you ask? When we were still in Kremmling earlier in the day and every single emergency vehicle left town in a hurry, that’s what. So now there’s a body in the river.  There’s a dead body in the river I am about to get into. What fun! I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would also be looking for a dead man while on a fun fun fun rafting trip but here I was actually doing it! sigh.

Now lets back up a little.  One of the reasons I went on this trip was because Chris kept referring to it as a “Float Trip”. Key word: Float. Period. This wasn’t a float trip.  This was a tuck your feet in for fear of going overboard trip.  This was a get soaking wet from white water trip. This was a ROW ROW ROW BEFORE WE HIT THE ROCKS! trip. Did I already say that I was anxious about the trip in general? Well at this point I’m white knuckling the oar and on the verge of tears with numb toes and soaked to the bones with river water. Yeah there was a portion of the trip that we floated…that was after the class 5 rapids. Oh and Did I mention the man who drowned fell out in that same rapids we just rafted through? oh yeah, that’s where he fell out.  Whew, relief to know that!

I will admit, Chris was an excellent guide.  He knew exactly where all the rocks were we had to navigate around, and he was our main rower, steering us everywhere. He got us in, and got us out and that was mainly what I cared about…aside from not dying. Thanks Chris for not letting me die! Love you! ;)

That night Chris and I were able to get Big Whitey back up and over the pass back to Denver.  And then we turned around and drove my car back to Steamboat to continue our weekend with his dad. Phew, what a long day that was! We had a great time with his dad and friends.  It was a really good father’s day weekend for Chris I think, Im sure his dad appreciated it as well.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Remember that a**hole that I worked with that asked me if I was pregnant to which I replied NO FUC*ER I’M JUST FAT? He did it again! This time I had witnesses…actually a room full of my friends (thank god) who knew about the first time this happened to me..  There I was, sitting at my desk minding my own fat ass business when he walked right up to me and asked me if “it” was catching, and pointed to my friend who just happens to really be pregnant.  hmm yeah, I was fuming once again and yelled at him to STOP ASKING ME THAT AND GET OUT OF MY FACE. He actually lauged at me. He was so close to me that when I got up to get out of there I had to squeeze by him to get out of my desk. Of course I cried, like any fat girl would, oh AND I ran like a sissy to the bathrooms.  It was just like another sequel to Bridget Jones or something. It was so embarrassing.

Ohhh yeah this one doesnt end here; when I went into the bathrooms he followed me, stood outside the doors and taunted me even more through the womens bathroom door.  Someone was looking after me because a second later a manager was yelling at him to get the hell out of there.  My pregnant friend came in complete with a box of tissues and calmed me down. By the time I came out of the bathroom he was fired, escorted from the building, and kicked out on his ass. I had to write a report on what happened before I left, and managers were coming out of the woodworks to see how I was, which was nice, but more embarassing than anything. “Oh Jenni we heard someone actually had the balls to call you a fat ass to your face, mmm were so sorry” I left, and had to be escorted to my car for safety reasons.

sigh.

I even think after the dieting and working out at the gym I GOT FATTER! I don’t know what is going on! (conscience: yes you do fat ass, you stuff your mouth with junk all day!) I blame it on my pregnant friend, who was always snacking on lovely morsels of junk food, sympathy weight I tell you!

mmm Cheetos…

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Day 5 142lbs

Holy Heck is it hard not to snack while I’m at work!  The water trick isn’t working today and all I want is chocolate! Grrr.  I was pretty good this weekend, (Day 4) I drank a whole lot of sparkling water and ate my vegetable soup. I also made a fabulous guacamole with fresh avocados, green onions and green salsa.  I baked a couple of corn tortillas until crisp and had a little chips and dip! It was quite the treat.  I got a recipe for some coconut breakfast bars from the book I’m following and I baked that last night.  I tried one right out of the oven and it just fell apart as I was serving it.  Will try another when I get home to test the leftover theory.  Its interesting baking without eggs or milk…

Breakfast:
Pineapple chunks
sparkling water

Lunch:
Salad
Water

Snack:
Popcorn, unbuttered

Dinner:
Black Beans
Guacamole
Lettuce
Tomato
Corn Tortilla
Soy Milk

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 3 142lbs

Well at least I am seeing a little bit of weight loss and its only been two days.  That is always a good thing.  My  goal  is to lose 20 lbs, so this is only the tip of the iceberg, the fat fat iceberg that is me…

So it’s Saturday, 3 in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten anything yet today.  I’m not starving which is really weird because usually on Saturdays I’m up making scrambled eggs and sausage before I devour my arm in hunger.  I have had a sparkling water however.

A little trick I have learned in the past couple days:  If your stomach growls and you have another two hours before your next meal- down a huge glass of water! It has really helped me stay away from unnecessary snacking.

Another tip to get your 8 glasses of water a day.  Set an alarm for yourself to go off every hour, whether it’s at work on your computer calendar, or on your cell phone alarm: every hour on the dot drink a glass of water.  It helps you feel full and you get your recommended 8 glasses of water a day while you are at work!

Yesterday I got home and immediately went to the fridge.  I stood there staring into its vast universe and I soooo wanted a piece of mozzarella wrapped in a piece of prosciutto…but no.  I opted for a hand full of dried apricots instead.  It did the job but it sure as heck wasn’t as yummy as the cheese and meat would have been! I have decided that I could never live a vegan life for more than a little while. I am definitely a carnivore. Wish me luck for the rest of the day!

Breakfast
Sparkling Water

Lunch
Homemade Vegetable soup made last night (because I was bored out of my mind):

Cabbage
Carrots
Celery
White onion
Green onion
Diced tomatoes
Zucchini
Vegetable stock

Dinner:
To be continued

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 2 143LBS

It was really hard for me to get up this morning for some reason!  I was dragging.  It was such a nice morning though and so I walked Cody for a little bit longer than I usually do.  I wish I was a morning person, but I am reeeally really not.  In my dream world, I would get up at 6AM make myself breakfast and go for a long walk around the park with Cody.  In reality I hit the snooze, drag Cody around the block and rush off to work with nothing in my stomach.

This morning I had a strawberry soy smoothie with a rice cake smothered with bananas and peanut butter (100%natural of course) and it was really good!  It still took me about an hour to wake up after I got to work though.  My new favorite treat? GUM.  There are some fantastic new flavors out there in Sugar Free varieties.  My pick; Wrigley’s Extra Fruit Sensations in Strawberry Banana flavor.  It helps curb the sugar cravings and keeps me from snacking.  Its like having a long lasting desert!

This weekend should prove to be an interesting one.  I hope to stick to the diet 100%…so no one is all owed to call and tempt me to go out to the bars! Sigh, only 19 more days to go!

Breakfast:

Vanilla Soy Dream

Frozen Strawberries
Rice cake
½ banana
2 TBS peanut butter

Lunch:
1C lettuce
Tomatoes
Viniagrette dressing
Sparkling Water

Snack:
Sunflower seeds
Mixed Nuts

Dinner:
1/2 baked potato
Vegan butter
dill weed

I am so bored out of my mind right now, Its a Friday night and we are staying home…which is very unusual for us.  Turned down a party next door, turned down going out with friends for dinner…sigh.  I might just break down and have a glass of wine! shhh dont tell.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 1 145lbs

Yes, it is true…I have started another cleanse.  The Quantum Wellness Cleanse to be exact. Starting today and for the next 21 days I will be cutting out 5 things:

1. Alcohol
2. Animal Products
3. Caffeine
4. Gluten
5. Sugar

So far it has been pretty uneventful, aside from the insane twitching in my left eye because I can’t have sugar…  I normally have a caffeine attack around 1:30 every day so around that time I just about gnawed the side of my desk off.  And I will bet you tonight after dinner I’m reeeeally going to want a glass of wine, to which I will try and replace with a nice cup of tea instead. Sigh.  I haven’t been really grumpy yet, which is a surprise because usually when I don’t get sugar I hit bottom.  Id better take a St. John’s Wart supplement before my crazy bitch comes out.

The whole point of this cleanse (for me) was to rid my body and mind of these addictions.  I have gotten into some really bad habits over the last couple of years and I want to change things (and maybe lose a few pounds in the meantime).  I eat way too many sweets during the day, snack too many times on non healthy things, and drink way too much alcohol.  But to be honest with you I think the hardest one to break will be the Animal products.  I can’t have cheese!  I friggin love dairy products.  I normally have eggs for breakfast too, which throws a wrench into things a bit, but I think I will be able to figure something out.  The gluten free thing is very new to me, and I’m sure my up-coming grocery shopping trip will prove to be interesting.  Basically for 21 days I will be a Vegan.  Weird.  I can’t even have butter y’all!

So was my day 1 menu:

Breakfast:
1C Pineapple chunks
.5L Perrier Sparkling Water

Lunch:
Cup of romaine lettuce
¼ C Cherry tomatoes
Perrier .5L with sugar free Crystal Light on the Go Peach Tea flavor

Snack:
¼ C Corn Nuts

Dinner”
Tuna Steak
Avocado sauce- with chives and celery salt
1C Rice
1C salad-Lettuce Tomato and cucumber
Seltzer water

and now its time for a dose of Grey’s Anatomy, and of course a cup of tea…that I secretly wish was wine…

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

you guys! Meredith and Derek from Grey’s Anatomy actually have a wedding website on theknot.com! How cute is that??? It is really funny actually, it’s all written in Izzy’s character.  While I was reading I could totally hear Izzy’s voice narrating in my head :) heeee hee. Check it out here Geez I’m gonna be a mess watching that episode…but I cant wait!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I actually had this conversation with someone at work last night:

Him: “…what’s going on right here“…making a rounding motion with his hands over his belly and pointing at mine
Me: thinking I had spilled something on my shirt I looked down at it to find nothing “what?”
Him: “You been eatin’ watermelon seeds?”
Me: now horrified to realize he IS really talking about the roundness of my belly “what do you mean?” through clenched teeth.
Him: “You not tellin’ us something?”
Me: with mouth now agape “are you asking if I’m pregnant?”
Him: “well?”

Did he really just ask me if I was pregnant??!!!

I can not believe this.  My whole body went beet red and I thanked him for pointing out that I am in fact JUST A FAT ASS.  I had to swallow the lump in my throat and walk away. I couldn’t wait to get out of my office.  When I finally made it to my car I burst into tears.  How embarrassing!  HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING!

I have realized that I have gained weight since the holidays, but it never really solidifies in your mind until someone asks you WHEN YOU’RE DUE!

If that’s not motivation to lose weight I don’t know what is. Today I am 20 pounds heavier than I was the last time I felt good about myself.  I used to be bulimic in college, to the extremes that I only weighed 105 at one point. I stopped when I graduated in ’96. Since then it has been off and on. I have to admit, sometimes I still do it. It is a sickness in my brain that tells me I need to be empty, and I know it will always be there.

I recognize that I can’t go around with a sign over my head that reads Recovering from an Eating Disorder but seriously I feel like whenever anyone says something good or bad about my weight I have to fight myself not to go back there. Say something about my weight and you might as well stick your fingers down my throat yourself!  Even when someone says “hey you look like you’ve lost weight” it still has a negative effect on me.  It is extremely hard for me not to fall back into bad habits.

For the last couple of years I have gotten a lot better, but now I really am gaining weight. I’ve never really known what to do about it in a healthy way until recently.  After that comment last night I went home in tears and worked out at the gym for 15 minutes longer than I normally do, and worked harder than I normally do. I plan on cutting my meals down to half the size, or eating salad as my main dish.  I’m counting calories, and ramping up my workouts to 5 days a week, instead of three days at the gym and two days walking around the park. I’m adding weights to my cardio, and using a higher level on the bike/stair climber. 

Whew, just writing that makes me feel tired.  It would be so much easier to just barf my way back to skinny.

sigh

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Wow, has it really been ten years already that the Columbine High School shootings happened? Today marks the anniversary of the tragedy, and that means all of Colorado is in mourning.

Ten years ago; I had been living in Aurora, CO only a little over a year at the time, even still Colorado felt like my home. I was at home watching daytime TV when it happened. I still remember those awful images from the news. The boy dangling out the library window desperate for help, the chain of kids trailing out of classrooms only to see one of their classmates shot on the lawn.  To be surrounded by SWAT and Police, they must have been so scared. It will forever be burned into my brain, and is still one of the most tragic things I have witnessed in my lifetime.

It’s strange to me that even ten years later, people still do not have the whole story and there are still a lot of myths surrounding the tragedy. One of them is the fact that the two shooters were not members of the “Trench Coat Mafia” which was a nonviolent group of computer gamers from a few years earlier.  The boys wore long duster jackets to hide their weapons. They were not “Goth’, they were not worshiping Marilyn Manson, but they were psychopathic and full of rage.  They had planned the attack to be a terrorist bombing that would rival Oklahoma City; they had planned on killing at least 500.  The timers on their bombs failed to go off so they just began shooting randomly.  Another myth was that they had targeted certain people because they were bullied.  Both are untrue. They were sick individuals. Scary to think this could happen again at any moment, and anywhere.

Sadly 13 lives were taken in the shootings ten years ago today. The library has been torn down, and in its place a memorial has been dedicated to the victims.  Last night a sunset vigil was held at the memorial and hundreds attended.  The school will be closed today, in remembrance.  A lot has changed, people have forgiven and moved on with their lives.  Parents are still mourning the loss of their children. As a Coloradan, I will never forget. Lets pray this never happens again.(¯`v´¯)
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Okay so about a month ago I started hearing everyone talk about twitter.  Twitter on Good Morning America, twitter on David Letterman, twitter at the gas station…I started to wonder what the hype was all about?  Now I have had my twitter account since ’07 but I think I had only logged on about 6 times.  It was time to get tweeting.

The first day I just started following whoever I found interesting; celebrities, news channels, magazines, random people who the celebrities were following…yeah I am a loser.  I think I had 17 followers at that point. I tried to learn everything I could about twitter.  I personalized my page, I added a picture, I updated my personal profile, basically I whored myself to the twitter universe hoping for a bite.  Need me, love me, follow me! After an hour I was bored out of my mind and went to bed.

The next morning I was surprised to find I had 150 new followers! Yay! Someone thinks I’m interesting! Then I went retarded: @jennisumerall is uploading a picture, @jennisummerall thinks it is too hot, @jennisummerall is taking a poo… Who the heck wants to know this? Delete Delete Delete!

Everyone else in the universe is way more interesting than I am.  Nevertheless people were following me.  I decided that it was only polite that I should follow my followers, and before I knew it I was following over a thousand users…people I do not know…sigh Okay yes, this does sound a little weird, but stay with me here people!

It becomes a little narcissistic after a while; I mean who the heck cares what I’m doing right? But who cares what @mileycyrus is doing at 8 o’clock on a Tuesday night? I do! Who wants to know that @perezhilton just saw Lindsey Lohan, I DO! Who wants to know that @johncmayer only owns three guitar picks? ME that’s who! After two weeks, I officially became addicted to the constant flow of information updating every 36 seconds on my newly installed TweetDeck.

I started replying back to celebrity tweets, because I really am that big of a loser.  Sharing movie selections with Heidi Montag, asking for a book review from Lance Armstrong, consoling Tila Tequila after a stalker broke into her house, and did I really tell Demi Moore that I loved her in Ghost??  I almost peed my pants the day that Nick Jonas actually wrote me back!  (or at least someone pretending to be him) I felt like screaming like a teenager and calling my mom!

Oh and I can die now that Oprah is on Twitter…can’t wait to see what she has to offer, doesn’t everyone?  I thought the world would stop spinning the day she sent her first tweet, geez! By the way- Oprah tweeted in all caps…you wanted to know that didn’t you?

WARNING: brag alert:
*Stretch * yeah so as of today I am following 1470 random people I don’t know, and I have 620 followers that don’t know me.  Yup I’m cool. So what Ashton Kutcher has over a million; he also got to go on Oprah to announce it.  When do I get to appear on Oprah?

My top favorite twitter users are Socks the Cat, Brent Spiner, Kevin Pollack, and Deakaz who is hillllarious. Tweet about Miller Light and instantly get a follow from millerbeers! Yes, I am having fun with my twitter experience.  I know you are out there laughing at me. I would laugh at me too if I were you… :) Oops Gotta scoot…there’s a new video of Susan Boyle I have to share with my tweeps! Later!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I just finished my taxes…why do I procrastinate all the time? Its friggin April 14th at 9:30PM!

I heard something on Good Morning America the other day and they said that 20% of us are chronic procrastinators. Like its a disease or something.  Well, more men than women are procrastinators so maybe that is true..ha ha. How do I stop? Why do I do it? I do it all the time in my life whether it comes to filling up on gas, paying rent, doing laundry ( I have nothing clean to wear tomorrow), waking up in the morning, buying a new car, finally having my hair cut professionally…yes I cut it myself…

How do I change my ways? For as long as I can remember I have been this way, I always waited to study for tests in school, and did my homework in the period before most times (but always got good grades), I am almost always late to work by five minutes, and can never pay my bills on time.

My work persona is completely different.  Almost the opposite.  At work I am the anal retentive girl, who is constantly on top of my priorities, I get back to customers on time, mostly early with getting things done, and if I foresee being late on something I always let someone know a week ahead of time.

OK that is weird.  Is this weird that I am so lax in my personal life and so anal in my professional existance? Does anyone else deal with this on a daily basis?

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I stepped on the scales again for the first time in a few months and it really made me depressed.

On the wall in front of the scale is a chart left over from the last time I tried to lose weight.  The line starts at 139 and wiggles its way through the grid down to 135.  Boy do I wish I really weighed 135 today…I weigh even more now than when I first started that chart!  Since losing that 4 whole pounds back in November- I have since gained those 4 pounds back, and added 6 more to top it off.

Ugh.

I weigh 145!!! How did that happen? This is the most I have weighed…EVER.

I can hardly fit in my work clothes, and struggle to look at myself in the mirror.  This is bad. BAD!

So…here is the plan. I joined the gym on Thursday of last week- I’ve gone  only twice, but I walk my dog through the neighborhood every morning and evening.  I have to work out every day.  I started a low carb diet again, it seemed to work the last time I tried it.  And I started here with the Self Challenge today.  I want to lose 20 pounds.

Its a start.  If you don’t start somewhere, nothing will ever get better right?

See you tomorrow…taking my fat ass to bed.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni