the jenni chronicles

So after my 45 minutes of Cardio and Oprah (the Farewell Season…sniff) I decided to keep the workout going, because “Today is the Day”!

I dug out my Bender Ball from the trunk where workout gear goes to die, and discovered it had gone flat… since I haven’t used it but once the day I got it in the mail.  Its been at least six months since I got that darn thing in the mail. I ordered it one night, probably after a few glasses of wine, and apparently I missed some small print when I ordered.  Every month after I got the ball I got a DVD in the mail, and they charged my account every time of course. After 6 DVD’s I finally called and canceled. They were still in the plastic today!

So I got all set up, DVD in the player, made sure no one was around to see me flail, and all hell broke loose.  I tried to blow up the ball to its full potential and by doing so I shot the plug all the way across the living room where it fell behind our huge and heavy entertainment center.  Great. Chris wasn’t home to help me move it but I was determined to finish my day with some crunches! After pulling and tugging, and even moving a huge rug, I was able to get myself wedged behind the TV and I got it! Whew, moving that thing back into place was a workout in its own!

Got the stupid ball blown up finally and set it down on the floor where I was set to work out, turned to press play on the DVD, turned around and the ball was gone.  My dog got it! Friggin Cody! I chased him outside where he had it shoved all the way in his mouth like a balloon, and I just knew he was going to pop it so I screamed DROP IT NOOOOOOWWWWWW in my meanest growliest voice because Cody doesn’t listen to nice. My neighbors probably think I’m a big ole bitch now…but I got the ball back, covered in slobber.

Finally got to play one of the DVDs, and it is a good workout but the girl who is teaching the moves is really dull.  If I had to hear her say “oh yeah feel those rectus abdominous muscles…” and “give those legs a deserving hug”  one more time I was about to shut it off.  I hope the other DVDs are better.

Its funny because its the cliche workout video, one star, and two back up girls.  One girl she introduces as her partner in the exercises and then she introduces the other girl as just “Kitty”. You know right off the bat the poor Kitty is the girl who has to stay in the back and pretend she cant do any of the strenuous moves, so she does all the moves half-assed for all the lazy people out there to follow.

I started out as the star, but boy I will tell you , I ended the workout as Kitty!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni