hey jealousy

I don’t know what it is about me, but I’ve never really been a girly- girl.  I wear plain tee shirts and pajama bottoms most days around the house.  To work I have my usual outfits, a pair of nice pants and a boring top.  I rarely put on jewelry, I wear the same necklace every day and whatever earrings are available to grab on the way out the door. Boring!

In the last couple of weeks I have tried to change it up a little bit.  I did my nails, I used tanning lotion, I plan out my wardrobe the night before instead of rushing in the morning, and I pulled out a whole box of jewelry that I never wear.  I’ve been accessorizing, wearing cuter shoes, curling my hair and trying not to wear the same thing twice in two weeks. I was feeling really good about myself. I felt pretty every day, I felt girly, I felt like a new person…that was until the new girl started at work.

This girl is a friggin supermodel, wears designer clothes, matching jewelry that probably has real diamonds instead of plastic, and you should see her shoe collection, can you say Jimmy Choo?  I am so jealous.  Immediately I went into insecure mode and picked myself apart to the point of crying in the bathroom at work. I went right back to feeling like the ugly frumpy girl who only has five outfits and shops at KMart.  I mean I know I’m not ugly,  I am probably just like every other normal girl I work with, but compared to this girl…I might as well blend in with the wallpaper.

I know…whaaaaa

But why am I comparing myself to her? I am not her, nor will I ever be her or live a life even close to the way she lives.  She grew up in a rich neighborhood with a wealthy family who probably still gives her a shopping allowance.  I am not that person. I will never be the fabulously glamorous rich girl who lives for the name brands. I’m just not like that and I am happy with that. She is not better than me.

I have to do the best I can with what I have, it may not be a lot, and it may not be the most fabulous, but I will make it my own and feel good about it.  I will never be drop dead gorgeous, I will never be the one the girls are jealous of, I will never drop jaws, but you know what?  I am okay with that.

I am okay with just being me.  And being me is pretty damn fabulous.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni