where has my universe gone?
Written on December 10, 2006
I have a bit of the blues today.
Do you ever start thinking about the “what if’s” of your life and suddenly start panicking that the world is coming to an end? Maybe I worry about everything too much, or maybe its because I have too much time on my hands these days, but I am scared.
What if I don’t get a job and I run out of money? What will I do after my savings is gone? Unemployment only pays for part of my bills, and half of my savings is gone already. I’m up sh*t creek if I don’t get a job soon. I cant borrow money from my parents, they have already helped me so much.
What if Rugby Dude gets tired of the long distance and breaks it off with me? I think I will die if that happens before I can move to be closer to him. What if the way I feel about him is too much? What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? If I love him too much, will I drive him away? What if I run out of money and have no money to move when I want to? I can literally drive myself into an anxiety attack when I think about not having him in my life. I love him so much.
What if Pluto really isnt just a dwarf planet and it just has not grown to its full potential? What will we do with all our solar system posters and encyclopedias? How will we ever remember the order of the planets without “P”? What will our horoscopes say now? Poor little Pluto, the solar system will just not be the same. Where has my universe gone? :D
Okay I know I am just being silly and worrying too much. Sometimes it takes me seeing my thoughts right here in front of me to realize that I am overreacting. I just have an icky lump in the pit of my stomach today for some reason. Its not the end of the world.
-worry wart
big thanks to Rugby Dude (who is in Denver now) he sent me this Marilyn pic.
Filed in: me.
oooh I know. I have not been off NEAR as long as you…but I understand the feeling of not having a job.
Was the offer REALLY that bad and is there potential to move up in salary? I would say take it and keep looking. At least you have a paycheck coming in and you can then take your time to continue to look. My offer came in less than was expected…granted only 50 cents less…and I could still comfortably live on it…but I did make my recruiters (head hunter?) go back and ask for what I was promised. Thats Destiny’s job…to get you the money you deserve.
Good luck and dont worry about Pluto…he will take care of himself! promise!!
A very WISE woman always says this to me when I am freaking out about something that may never happen “Do you want it to be the self-full-filling prophecy?” So stop worry about Rugby Dude and what he may or may not be feeling or the worse may come true.
Breathe.
You will be FINE!
Ps. Glad you liked my Marlyn pic…I thought of you when I posted it.
So wait you didn’t take the job? So that you don’t continue to drain your resources and feel depressed about your hunt, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to take it while you’re looking…at least it’ll be an incoming rather than a drain :) just motherly advise here. And agree…stop worrying about Rugby dude, you’re going to bring on the bad stuff if you keep willing it to happen by always putting it out in the universe. :) Keep your chin up- you’re a beautiful, talented girl with a great spirit. If anyone doesn’t love that about you, then they are not worth your time- and I’m sure Rugby dude loves you for that and more.
Chin up, gal — it always looks darkest before the dawn. When you’re back on your feet, you can look back on this and…well, not laugh, but know that the experience made you stronger and wiser.
I don’t necessarily agree with others that you should have taken the $5/hour job instead of staying on unemployment. If the unemployment you’re getting is more than the wage you would have earned, you’ll be coming out ahead and putting less of a drain on your savings.
Keep on sending out those resumes. Contact the temp services in your area, too…sometimes a temp job can translate into a nice, permanent job!