the jenni chronicles

Day 5 142lbs

Holy Heck is it hard not to snack while I’m at work!  The water trick isn’t working today and all I want is chocolate! Grrr.  I was pretty good this weekend, (Day 4) I drank a whole lot of sparkling water and ate my vegetable soup. I also made a fabulous guacamole with fresh avocados, green onions and green salsa.  I baked a couple of corn tortillas until crisp and had a little chips and dip! It was quite the treat.  I got a recipe for some coconut breakfast bars from the book I’m following and I baked that last night.  I tried one right out of the oven and it just fell apart as I was serving it.  Will try another when I get home to test the leftover theory.  Its interesting baking without eggs or milk…

Breakfast:
Pineapple chunks
sparkling water

Lunch:
Salad
Water

Snack:
Popcorn, unbuttered

Dinner:
Black Beans
Guacamole
Lettuce
Tomato
Corn Tortilla
Soy Milk

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 3 142lbs

Well at least I am seeing a little bit of weight loss and its only been two days.  That is always a good thing.  My  goal  is to lose 20 lbs, so this is only the tip of the iceberg, the fat fat iceberg that is me…

So it’s Saturday, 3 in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten anything yet today.  I’m not starving which is really weird because usually on Saturdays I’m up making scrambled eggs and sausage before I devour my arm in hunger.  I have had a sparkling water however.

A little trick I have learned in the past couple days:  If your stomach growls and you have another two hours before your next meal- down a huge glass of water! It has really helped me stay away from unnecessary snacking.

Another tip to get your 8 glasses of water a day.  Set an alarm for yourself to go off every hour, whether it’s at work on your computer calendar, or on your cell phone alarm: every hour on the dot drink a glass of water.  It helps you feel full and you get your recommended 8 glasses of water a day while you are at work!

Yesterday I got home and immediately went to the fridge.  I stood there staring into its vast universe and I soooo wanted a piece of mozzarella wrapped in a piece of prosciutto…but no.  I opted for a hand full of dried apricots instead.  It did the job but it sure as heck wasn’t as yummy as the cheese and meat would have been! I have decided that I could never live a vegan life for more than a little while. I am definitely a carnivore. Wish me luck for the rest of the day!

Breakfast
Sparkling Water

Lunch
Homemade Vegetable soup made last night (because I was bored out of my mind):

Cabbage
Carrots
Celery
White onion
Green onion
Diced tomatoes
Zucchini
Vegetable stock

Dinner:
To be continued

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 2 143LBS

It was really hard for me to get up this morning for some reason!  I was dragging.  It was such a nice morning though and so I walked Cody for a little bit longer than I usually do.  I wish I was a morning person, but I am reeeally really not.  In my dream world, I would get up at 6AM make myself breakfast and go for a long walk around the park with Cody.  In reality I hit the snooze, drag Cody around the block and rush off to work with nothing in my stomach.

This morning I had a strawberry soy smoothie with a rice cake smothered with bananas and peanut butter (100%natural of course) and it was really good!  It still took me about an hour to wake up after I got to work though.  My new favorite treat? GUM.  There are some fantastic new flavors out there in Sugar Free varieties.  My pick; Wrigley’s Extra Fruit Sensations in Strawberry Banana flavor.  It helps curb the sugar cravings and keeps me from snacking.  Its like having a long lasting desert!

This weekend should prove to be an interesting one.  I hope to stick to the diet 100%…so no one is all owed to call and tempt me to go out to the bars! Sigh, only 19 more days to go!

Breakfast:

Vanilla Soy Dream

Frozen Strawberries
Rice cake
½ banana
2 TBS peanut butter

Lunch:
1C lettuce
Tomatoes
Viniagrette dressing
Sparkling Water

Snack:
Sunflower seeds
Mixed Nuts

Dinner:
1/2 baked potato
Vegan butter
dill weed

I am so bored out of my mind right now, Its a Friday night and we are staying home…which is very unusual for us.  Turned down a party next door, turned down going out with friends for dinner…sigh.  I might just break down and have a glass of wine! shhh dont tell.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Day 1 145lbs

Yes, it is true…I have started another cleanse.  The Quantum Wellness Cleanse to be exact. Starting today and for the next 21 days I will be cutting out 5 things:

1. Alcohol
2. Animal Products
3. Caffeine
4. Gluten
5. Sugar

So far it has been pretty uneventful, aside from the insane twitching in my left eye because I can’t have sugar…  I normally have a caffeine attack around 1:30 every day so around that time I just about gnawed the side of my desk off.  And I will bet you tonight after dinner I’m reeeeally going to want a glass of wine, to which I will try and replace with a nice cup of tea instead. Sigh.  I haven’t been really grumpy yet, which is a surprise because usually when I don’t get sugar I hit bottom.  Id better take a St. John’s Wart supplement before my crazy bitch comes out.

The whole point of this cleanse (for me) was to rid my body and mind of these addictions.  I have gotten into some really bad habits over the last couple of years and I want to change things (and maybe lose a few pounds in the meantime).  I eat way too many sweets during the day, snack too many times on non healthy things, and drink way too much alcohol.  But to be honest with you I think the hardest one to break will be the Animal products.  I can’t have cheese!  I friggin love dairy products.  I normally have eggs for breakfast too, which throws a wrench into things a bit, but I think I will be able to figure something out.  The gluten free thing is very new to me, and I’m sure my up-coming grocery shopping trip will prove to be interesting.  Basically for 21 days I will be a Vegan.  Weird.  I can’t even have butter y’all!

So was my day 1 menu:

Breakfast:
1C Pineapple chunks
.5L Perrier Sparkling Water

Lunch:
Cup of romaine lettuce
¼ C Cherry tomatoes
Perrier .5L with sugar free Crystal Light on the Go Peach Tea flavor

Snack:
¼ C Corn Nuts

Dinner”
Tuna Steak
Avocado sauce- with chives and celery salt
1C Rice
1C salad-Lettuce Tomato and cucumber
Seltzer water

and now its time for a dose of Grey’s Anatomy, and of course a cup of tea…that I secretly wish was wine…

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

you guys! Meredith and Derek from Grey’s Anatomy actually have a wedding website on theknot.com! How cute is that??? It is really funny actually, it’s all written in Izzy’s character.  While I was reading I could totally hear Izzy’s voice narrating in my head heeee hee. Check it out here Geez I’m gonna be a mess watching that episode…but I cant wait!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I actually had this conversation with someone at work last night:

Him: “…what’s going on right here“…making a rounding motion with his hands over his belly and pointing at mine
Me: thinking I had spilled something on my shirt I looked down at it to find nothing “what?”
Him: “You been eatin’ watermelon seeds?”
Me: now horrified to realize he IS really talking about the roundness of my belly “what do you mean?” through clenched teeth.
Him: “You not tellin’ us something?”
Me: with mouth now agape “are you asking if I’m pregnant?”
Him: “well?”

Did he really just ask me if I was pregnant??!!!

I can not believe this.  My whole body went beet red and I thanked him for pointing out that I am in fact JUST A FAT ASS.  I had to swallow the lump in my throat and walk away. I couldn’t wait to get out of my office.  When I finally made it to my car I burst into tears.  How embarrassing!  HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING!

I have realized that I have gained weight since the holidays, but it never really solidifies in your mind until someone asks you WHEN YOU’RE DUE!

If that’s not motivation to lose weight I don’t know what is. Today I am 20 pounds heavier than I was the last time I felt good about myself.  I used to be bulimic in college, to the extremes that I only weighed 105 at one point. I stopped when I graduated in ‘96. Since then it has been off and on. I have to admit, sometimes I still do it. It is a sickness in my brain that tells me I need to be empty, and I know it will always be there.

I recognize that I can’t go around with a sign over my head that reads Recovering from an Eating Disorder but seriously I feel like whenever anyone says something good or bad about my weight I have to fight myself not to go back there. Say something about my weight and you might as well stick your fingers down my throat yourself!  Even when someone says “hey you look like you’ve lost weight” it still has a negative effect on me.  It is extremely hard for me not to fall back into bad habits.

For the last couple of years I have gotten a lot better, but now I really am gaining weight. I’ve never really known what to do about it in a healthy way until recently.  After that comment last night I went home in tears and worked out at the gym for 15 minutes longer than I normally do, and worked harder than I normally do. I plan on cutting my meals down to half the size, or eating salad as my main dish.  I’m counting calories, and ramping up my workouts to 5 days a week, instead of three days at the gym and two days walking around the park. I’m adding weights to my cardio, and using a higher level on the bike/stair climber. 

Whew, just writing that makes me feel tired.  It would be so much easier to just barf my way back to skinny.

sigh

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Wow, has it really been ten years already that the Columbine High School shootings happened? Today marks the anniversary of the tragedy, and that means all of Colorado is in mourning.

Ten years ago; I had been living in Aurora, CO only a little over a year at the time, even still Colorado felt like my home. I was at home watching daytime TV when it happened. I still remember those awful images from the news. The boy dangling out the library window desperate for help, the chain of kids trailing out of classrooms only to see one of their classmates shot on the lawn.  To be surrounded by SWAT and Police, they must have been so scared. It will forever be burned into my brain, and is still one of the most tragic things I have witnessed in my lifetime.

It’s strange to me that even ten years later, people still do not have the whole story and there are still a lot of myths surrounding the tragedy. One of them is the fact that the two shooters were not members of the “Trench Coat Mafia” which was a nonviolent group of computer gamers from a few years earlier.  The boys wore long duster jackets to hide their weapons. They were not “Goth’, they were not worshiping Marilyn Manson, but they were psychopathic and full of rage.  They had planned the attack to be a terrorist bombing that would rival Oklahoma City; they had planned on killing at least 500.  The timers on their bombs failed to go off so they just began shooting randomly.  Another myth was that they had targeted certain people because they were bullied.  Both are untrue. They were sick individuals. Scary to think this could happen again at any moment, and anywhere.

Sadly 13 lives were taken in the shootings ten years ago today. The library has been torn down, and in its place a memorial has been dedicated to the victims.  Last night a sunset vigil was held at the memorial and hundreds attended.  The school will be closed today, in remembrance.  A lot has changed, people have forgiven and moved on with their lives.  Parents are still mourning the loss of their children. As a Coloradan, I will never forget. Lets pray this never happens again.(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

Okay so about a month ago I started hearing everyone talk about twitter.  Twitter on Good Morning America, twitter on David Letterman, twitter at the gas station…I started to wonder what the hype was all about?  Now I have had my twitter account since ‘07 but I think I had only logged on about 6 times.  It was time to get tweeting.

The first day I just started following whoever I found interesting; celebrities, news channels, magazines, random people who the celebrities were following…yeah I am a loser.  I think I had 17 followers at that point. I tried to learn everything I could about twitter.  I personalized my page, I added a picture, I updated my personal profile, basically I whored myself to the twitter universe hoping for a bite.  Need me, love me, follow me! After an hour I was bored out of my mind and went to bed.

The next morning I was surprised to find I had 150 new followers! Yay! Someone thinks I’m interesting! Then I went retarded: @jennisumerall is uploading a picture, @jennisummerall thinks it is too hot, @jennisummerall is taking a poo… Who the heck wants to know this? Delete Delete Delete!

Everyone else in the universe is way more interesting than I am.  Nevertheless people were following me.  I decided that it was only polite that I should follow my followers, and before I knew it I was following over a thousand users…people I do not know…sigh Okay yes, this does sound a little weird, but stay with me here people!

It becomes a little narcissistic after a while; I mean who the heck cares what I’m doing right? But who cares what @mileycyrus is doing at 8 o’clock on a Tuesday night? I do! Who wants to know that @perezhilton just saw Lindsey Lohan, I DO! Who wants to know that @johncmayer only owns three guitar picks? ME that’s who! After two weeks, I officially became addicted to the constant flow of information updating every 36 seconds on my newly installed TweetDeck.

I started replying back to celebrity tweets, because I really am that big of a loser.  Sharing movie selections with Heidi Montag, asking for a book review from Lance Armstrong, consoling Tila Tequila after a stalker broke into her house, and did I really tell Demi Moore that I loved her in Ghost??  I almost peed my pants the day that Nick Jonas actually wrote me back!  (or at least someone pretending to be him) I felt like screaming like a teenager and calling my mom!

Oh and I can die now that Oprah is on Twitter…can’t wait to see what she has to offer, doesn’t everyone?  I thought the world would stop spinning the day she sent her first tweet, geez! By the way- Oprah tweeted in all caps…you wanted to know that didn’t you?

WARNING: brag alert:
*Stretch * yeah so as of today I am following 1470 random people I don’t know, and I have 620 followers that don’t know me.  Yup I’m cool. So what Ashton Kutcher has over a million; he also got to go on Oprah to announce it.  When do I get to appear on Oprah?

My top favorite twitter users are Socks the Cat, Brent Spiner, Kevin Pollack, and Deakaz who is hillllarious. Tweet about Miller Light and instantly get a follow from millerbeers! Yes, I am having fun with my twitter experience.  I know you are out there laughing at me. I would laugh at me too if I were you… Oops Gotta scoot…there’s a new video of Susan Boyle I have to share with my tweeps! Later!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I just finished my taxes…why do I procrastinate all the time? Its friggin April 14th at 9:30PM!

I heard something on Good Morning America the other day and they said that 20% of us are chronic procrastinators. Like its a disease or something.  Well, more men than women are procrastinators so maybe that is true..ha ha. How do I stop? Why do I do it? I do it all the time in my life whether it comes to filling up on gas, paying rent, doing laundry ( I have nothing clean to wear tomorrow), waking up in the morning, buying a new car, finally having my hair cut professionally…yes I cut it myself…

How do I change my ways? For as long as I can remember I have been this way, I always waited to study for tests in school, and did my homework in the period before most times (but always got good grades), I am almost always late to work by five minutes, and can never pay my bills on time.

My work persona is completely different.  Almost the opposite.  At work I am the anal retentive girl, who is constantly on top of my priorities, I get back to customers on time, mostly early with getting things done, and if I foresee being late on something I always let someone know a week ahead of time.

OK that is weird.  Is this weird that I am so lax in my personal life and so anal in my professional existance? Does anyone else deal with this on a daily basis?

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

I stepped on the scales again for the first time in a few months and it really made me depressed.

On the wall in front of the scale is a chart left over from the last time I tried to lose weight.  The line starts at 139 and wiggles its way through the grid down to 135.  Boy do I wish I really weighed 135 today…I weigh even more now than when I first started that chart!  Since losing that 4 whole pounds back in November- I have since gained those 4 pounds back, and added 6 more to top it off.

Ugh.

I weigh 145!!! How did that happen? This is the most I have weighed…EVER.

I can hardly fit in my work clothes, and struggle to look at myself in the mirror.  This is bad. BAD!

So…here is the plan. I joined the gym on Thursday of last week- I’ve gone  only twice, but I walk my dog through the neighborhood every morning and evening.  I have to work out every day.  I started a low carb diet again, it seemed to work the last time I tried it.  And I started here with the Self Challenge today.  I want to lose 20 pounds.

Its a start.  If you don’t start somewhere, nothing will ever get better right?

See you tomorrow…taking my fat ass to bed.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni