the jenni chronicles

Here are a few neat panorama pictures Chris put together from our 4th of July trip:

Italian Creek

American Flag Mountain 1

American Flag Mountain 2

American Flag Mountain 3

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

When I was in college I dated a guy for a few months. It was a pretty volatile relationship, on again off again. To make it harder we worked together and hung in the same circle of friends.  He was such a tragic person, a truly unhappy being. One of those people who self destructed every so often; and made sure that he would set himself up to fail in most situations. If he did succeed he would sabotage himself.  In the same way, he sabotaged our relationship many times but I went back to him time and time again; because I truly felt like I could save him. He was one of the greatest human beings I have ever known; he just didn’t know how to be good to himself.

I wanted to fix him so badly, it was just heartbreaking. He was an alcoholic, addicted to drugs and smoked like a chimney.  In the end those things were the reason it didn’t work between us. In time I moved on with my life and graduated college. We remained friends but lost touch soon after I moved to Colorado.

A couple of years later I received news that he put a shotgun to his own chest.

In the years since, I have had dreams about him.  The kind of dreams that don’t really mean anything, just mostly the kind based off some old memory we shared.  I haven’t really thought about him in the last five years or so.  Until last night… he came to visit me.

In the dream I was at a party, someone’s house full of people I didn’t know very well. I was sitting on the floor in front of a door way and there he was. He stood over me for a minute and then smiled down at me with his arm extended. I took his hand and smiled as he sat down with legs crossed in front of me on the floor. We embraced.  It felt so real I could feel his heart beat against my chest. He said “how are you?” with both of his hands holding my shoulders. I smiled and told him “I used to dream about you all the time, but this feel a lot different for some reason” (I have never been able to realize that I am in a dream before.) He told me “well I came here to get you…” and smiled that perfect smile he always had. I laughed and said “I can’t go with you I have a boyfriend back there…” I gestured behind me as if Chris was in another room and I felt really confused. He backed up a little and lit a cigarette.  I took a breath and started to say “I’m sorry” but I choked on the smoke. He was gone.

I woke up sitting upright in my bed alone, coughing.  The air in the room was filled with cigarette smoke.

rest in peace C.J. it was good to see you.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Hi! I wanted to share this amazing site called ShoeDazzle, where you get gorgeous shoes, handbags and jewelry, and personalized recommendations from real Hollywood stylists. Everything is just $39.95. Join now and get 20% off your first ShoeDazzle item!

Make sure you mention my name if you join!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

this made my night
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/the-bloggess-vagina-hair-0729101/

“are you lying?”
you looked at me and said “no I swear”
you looked right into my eyes
these eyes that love you
and you lied.

two women somewhere behind me in the checkout aisle:

woman #1 “wow her hair is gorgeous!”
woman #2 “yeah, its too bad because she’d probably be somewhat attractive if she wasn’t chunky”

skinny ass Cherry Creek bitches.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
~Robert Frost

All around Denver the leaves are forming on the trees.  The cherry blossoms have bloomed, their petals scatter in the wind. What I love about spring is the color of the sky.  It’s a sort of sapphire blue that cannot be recreated by even the finest of  painters. Not even a modern day Michelangelo could imagine a color. Its the color of my fathers eyes. Maybe it is the sunlight reflecting off of the leaves and flowers, back up into the heavens that causes the brilliance in light. it makes green seem greener, and pinks seem electric, almost too hard to stare at for very long.

I’ve noticed the sounds of the city have dulled now that the trees all have their leaves.  Noise in winter seems to travel farther because the trees are bare. Now the train whistle in the distance fades into the night air as the trees dance in the wind.

We leave our windows open now, inviting the sweet fragrance of the daffodils into our slumber. Soon the night will be so quiet it will seem as if we are the only people within miles.  The city will slow and people will relax into summer. The days will become longer, the nights will get warmer, and that blue that I love so much will become so deep you’d think you could fall into it.

Don’t blink, it will be over faster than a dream.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

I realized today that I am old…because?…I am wearing knee highs…

When I was little I remember thinking that my parents were so boring and old; how they dressed, what they were interested in, etc.  I remember leaving the room when they would turn on the evening news- what a bore! I remember making fun of my mother for wearing something I’m sure I thought was hilarious (sorry mom) But now I am sure I do all those things that I used to roll my eyes at. Oh my god, I am turning into my parents!

I already find myself doing things that haven’t been in my routine before. Yes I wear knee highs.  But only with pants and closed toed shoes…(it feels better when I am wearing really pointy toed shoes.) I also have started to record Nightline (I almost said tape).  Actually I record all the news shows, 48 hours, Dateline, 20/20…oh boy. One new (old lady) thing I have started to buy- Better Homes and Gardens magazine, because of the recipes and gardening ideas…oh my god.  I need to stop. Is it already 9:30? past my bedtime…ugh. I am old.

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Captains log. Stardate 20100427

Still starving, and very very tired.
2 miles on the treadmill Steak and veggies for dinner
was good with food today, only ate half what I normally would have
think I’m getting a cold.

“I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live?
I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!”
~ Carrie Bradshaw

What girl doesn’t like a new pair of shoes? A few months ago my friend Angela told me about this sort-of “shoe of the month club”; Kim Kardashian’s  Shoedazzle.com.  I went home and researched and was instantly hooked.  I signed up on the spot and ever since I get a shiny new pair of shoes every month!

Every month I choose a pair of shoes from the website and they arrive in style:

So cute with a pair of leggings! My first pair were little black Chinese Laundry ballet flats and I have worn them to shreds; I’m addicted to flats now. There’s just something about a new pair of heels that just makes me so happy!

The Shoedazzle idea is just so smart.  Sign up and you will get a new shoe selection every month.  If you don’t want anything from your selection you can request new selections or skip that month and they wont charge you! They make it really easy too if you want to return your selection.

This is definitely going in the category of Cool Things…I’m addicted!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.jenni

Captains Log Stardate 20100426:
starving…would kill for a burger.